While I’m no relationship expert & certainly don’t want to turn my blog into an advice column, I read a Facebook post the other day from an old classmate, angry about her involvement with a man going sour. She is notoriously guilty of over sharing the details of her personal life (via FB) which seems to consist of multiple casual physical encounters with very little time invested beforehand and I couldn’t help but wonder why.
What bothers me is the number of women that anxiously enter a man’s life in a physical manner & then suddenly become surprised when that is the only purpose they serve; makes me wonder what they were taught at home. And this isn’t necessarily symptomatic of 20 year olds, this sort of behavior isn’t age specific, surprisingly.
If you choose to be someone’s “side-piece” or quickly advance from greeting to sexual flirtation &/or sex, what more can you expect from there? Men are more physical & women tend to be more emotional, but women often make the mistake of thinking the physical will lead to the emotional & it rarely ever does. I truly believe that your behavior teaches others how to treat you. If you carry yourself with respect and integrity, those around you will respond accordingly but if you appear not to care about yourself, expect the same in return.
Women, please don’t be afraid to exemplify your self-worth & showcase the value of your character, others will surely follow suit.
And if someone chooses to pass you up for an easier option, be thankful because that just means he’s not worth the time. You’d be surprised how many make a U-turn to the one who respects herself after they’ve had their fun. You don’t want to be the fun girl. She only looks good in scripts. In reality, she’s depressed, insecure and ultimately quite bitter.
Respect, morals & integrity are just as sexy if not sexier than an easy target even though we live in an instant gratification world. Still, what seems hella fun in the moment is just that, MOMENTARY & growth comes with the realization that what is common is less desirable when all is said & done.
Why do you think Louboutin’s are so highly coveted? Because the average woman can’t afford them or must save up like crazy to buy just one pair. If they were on the clearance rack tomorrow, their popularity would vanish in no time.
I know of men who have bedded women they don’t want to date, take home or introduce to their loved ones. I also know women who have served that purpose because they like him and think it will keep his interest only to end up heart-broken & regretful.
Don’t fear making him wait won’t keep him around. Sex is simple, ANYONE can do it. Women all have the same parts despite a variation in appearance. Men love eye candy, hell, who doesn’t BUT ask a man how many times he’s been in love & how many times he’s been a lover? Notice the staggering difference in quantity?
And if you don’t start taking your personal involvements seriously, chance might do it for you. Casual encounters are dangerous and if you’ve yet to realize that, you’ve been living under a rock. Don’t live under a rock.
So ladies, please stop selling yourselves short; because the majority of women who start out being “cool” with only having a physical relationship, ultimately become angry once he loses interest or chooses someone of substance in the long run. You can’t be shocked he doesn’t want to take you to dinner if all he’s used to is dessert. Know what I mean?
And I’ve never heard any woman appreciate the term “ho”, so why does there seem to be a growing epidemic of women out there willing to act like one? Also, I’ve never heard anyone yell during an argument ‘you have too much integrity!’, or ‘I can’t stand your self-respect!‘ Just doesn’t happen.